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A Chronology on Elm Street

by Mr. Satanism ...

Do the Nightmare on Elm Street movies really occur in the order that they were released? And how does Freddy Krueger's TV show fit in? Or Wes Craven's New Nightmare? What about the music videos? Well fear not, because, like Clarissa, Mr. Satanism is here to explain it all, in his first-ever film guide dedicated exclusively to a single franchise: A Chronology on Elm Street. ... Read more

$2.99 USD or Free with Kobo Plus

Do the Nightmare on Elm Street movies really occur in the order that they were released? And how does Freddy Krueger's TV show fit in? Or Wes Craven's New Nightmare? What about the music videos? Well fear not, because, like Clarissa, Mr. Satanism is here to explain it all, in his first-ever film guide dedicated exclusively to a single franchise: A Chronology on Elm Street.
... Read more
Mr. Satanism Rises Again

by Mr. Satanism ...

You begged. You pleaded. One of you even shoved a dead cat in his mailbox (although that might have been unrelated). So here, at last, is the new Mr. Satanism film guide YOU demanded: over 200 pages jam-packed (we made the font smaller) with nothing but HORROR MOVIE REVIEWS. That's right, folks, this time it's ALL horror, cover-to-cover. Because when all else fails, Mr. Satanism gives the readers ... Read more

$5.99 USD

You begged. You pleaded. One of you even shoved a dead cat in his mailbox (although that might have been unrelated). So here, at last, is the new Mr. Satanism film guide YOU demanded: over 200 pages jam-packed (we made the font smaller) with nothing but HORROR MOVIE REVIEWS. That's right, folks, this time it's ALL horror, cover-to-cover. Because when all else fails, Mr. Satanism gives the readers
... Read more
Werewolves Don't Eat Brunch / Vampires Suck Bundle

by Mr. Satanism ...

Two classic movie monsters, together again!Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula? It has armadillos in it! Fortunately, misanthropic ... Read more

$4.99 USD or Free with Kobo Plus

Two classic movie monsters, together again!Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula? It has armadillos in it! Fortunately, misanthropic
... Read more
Vampire Movies Still Suck

by Mr. Satanism ...

Just in time for Halloween (as of this writing; it's not our fault you don't keep up with things), it's Mr. Satanism's latest, greatest [citation needed] film guide, the long-awaited [citation needed] followup to his first brilliant [citation...okay, you get it] vampire film guide Vampire Movies Suck! Featuring no-nonsense reviews of some of the rarest, weirdest vampire and vampire-adjacent flicks ... Read more

$4.99 USD or Free with Kobo Plus

Just in time for Halloween (as of this writing; it's not our fault you don't keep up with things), it's Mr. Satanism's latest, greatest [citation needed] film guide, the long-awaited [citation needed] followup to his first brilliant [citation...okay, you get it] vampire film guide Vampire Movies Suck! Featuring no-nonsense reviews of some of the rarest, weirdest vampire and vampire-adjacent flicks
... Read more
Mr. Satanism's Horror-nasium

by Mr. Satanism ...

Now, get two of Mr. Satanism's infamous horror movie review collections for one low price! And by "one low price", of course, we mean "just slightly cheaper than buying both books separately". Plus, because we're bastards, this compilation contains one bonus review! Ha ha! Take that, obsessive completists! (Collects 66.6 Absurd Movies About the Devil and Legendary House of Haunted Hell, in their ... Read more

$5.99 USD or Free with Kobo Plus

Now, get two of Mr. Satanism's infamous horror movie review collections for one low price! And by "one low price", of course, we mean "just slightly cheaper than buying both books separately". Plus, because we're bastards, this compilation contains one bonus review! Ha ha! Take that, obsessive completists! (Collects 66.6 Absurd Movies About the Devil and Legendary House of Haunted Hell, in their
... Read more
Vampire Movies Suck

by Mr. Satanism ...

Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula? It has armadillos in it! Fortunately, misanthropic film critic Mr. Satanism is here to put all ... Read more

$2.99 USD

Remember when vampires were scary? Yeah, us neither. Between your Twilight and your Vampire: The Masquerade vampires have become the biggest tools in monsterdom, never mind the fact that they weren't exactly firing on all their horror cylinders to begin with. Honestly, have you seen the original Dracula? It has armadillos in it! Fortunately, misanthropic film critic Mr. Satanism is here to put all
... Read more
Shark Weak: The Worst Shark Movies Ever Made

by Mr. Satanism ...

If something smells fishy, it's not just Mr. Satanism's ex-wife, because this time the infamous Internet film critic is taking on shark movies, hilariously skewering everything from proto-Jaws potboilers, to Italian jawsploitation "classics", to the current crop of gimmicky CGI garbage. (Sharknado, anyone?) See the Jaws series deteriorate with each entry, discover ripoffs you never knew existed, ... Read more

$3.99 USD

If something smells fishy, it's not just Mr. Satanism's ex-wife, because this time the infamous Internet film critic is taking on shark movies, hilariously skewering everything from proto-Jaws potboilers, to Italian jawsploitation "classics", to the current crop of gimmicky CGI garbage. (Sharknado, anyone?) See the Jaws series deteriorate with each entry, discover ripoffs you never knew existed,
... Read more
Monkeys & Dinosaurs: Cinema as High Art, Vol. 1

by Mr. Satanism ...

It's his magnum opus, and he doesn't even know what that means. Mr. Satanism's biggest, thickest, throbbing-est movie guide yet covers nearly every dinosaur movie ever made, from the silent era to Jurassic World, and plenty of monkey business besides. Featuring the all-but-forgotten second wave of Planet of the Apes sequels, Paul Walker's gore-drenched dinosaur rom-com, the Robosaurus television ... Read more

$4.99 USD

It's his magnum opus, and he doesn't even know what that means. Mr. Satanism's biggest, thickest, throbbing-est movie guide yet covers nearly every dinosaur movie ever made, from the silent era to Jurassic World, and plenty of monkey business besides. Featuring the all-but-forgotten second wave of Planet of the Apes sequels, Paul Walker's gore-drenched dinosaur rom-com, the Robosaurus television
... Read more
Hex Crimes: The Worst Witch Movies Ever Made

by Mr. Satanism ...

Mr. Satanism: "So, would it be wrong to say that I roast these movies?"Editor: "That could be construed as disrespectful, yes."Mr Satanism: "How do you figure?"Editor: "Witch trials were once a very real thing, you know."Mr. Satanism: "Yeah, but that was back in historical times, and as we all know tragedy plus history equals comedy."Editor: "Uh, I don't think that's quite right. Regardless, my ... Read more

$2.99 USD

Mr. Satanism: "So, would it be wrong to say that I roast these movies?"Editor: "That could be construed as disrespectful, yes."Mr Satanism: "How do you figure?"Editor: "Witch trials were once a very real thing, you know."Mr. Satanism: "Yeah, but that was back in historical times, and as we all know tragedy plus history equals comedy."Editor: "Uh, I don't think that's quite right. Regardless, my
... Read more
Mr. Satanism Puts Down Your Favorite Dog (...Movies)

by Mr. Satanism ...

A canine-thropic (it's a word now) assault on that detestable Uncle Tom of the animal kingdom, man's so-called best friend (not), the treacherous, mangy, smelly, useless DOG. Vilest of pets, the dog does nothing, produces nothing, embetters nothing, and will turn on you at the drop of a hat and/or the second someone else gives it a cheeseburger. Needless to say, movies about dogs aren't much ... Read more

$2.99 USD

A canine-thropic (it's a word now) assault on that detestable Uncle Tom of the animal kingdom, man's so-called best friend (not), the treacherous, mangy, smelly, useless DOG. Vilest of pets, the dog does nothing, produces nothing, embetters nothing, and will turn on you at the drop of a hat and/or the second someone else gives it a cheeseburger. Needless to say, movies about dogs aren't much
... Read more
Lifetime Movies... for Men

by Mr. Satanism ...

Infamous film critic Mr. Satanism takes a break from the horror beat to deconstruct the critically-neglected but perennially popular sub-sub-genre known as the "Lifetime Original Movie". Why? Because with their paranoid plots, self-loathing misogyny, and heavily-stylized violence, many of these movies are as twisted as any horror flick, and Mr. Satanism calls them out on every cinematic misstep, ... Read more

$3.99 USD

Infamous film critic Mr. Satanism takes a break from the horror beat to deconstruct the critically-neglected but perennially popular sub-sub-genre known as the "Lifetime Original Movie". Why? Because with their paranoid plots, self-loathing misogyny, and heavily-stylized violence, many of these movies are as twisted as any horror flick, and Mr. Satanism calls them out on every cinematic misstep,
... Read more
Trash of the Titans

by Mr. Satanism ...

Dragons? Wizards? Hobbits? Supervillain-cum-movie critic Mr. Satanism has had enough of all this magic and wonder, so he's back to take the piss out of fantasy films once and for all. Be they Arabian adventures, Arthurian fantasies, or hopelessly-outdated Dungeons & Dragons clones (what is this, 1978?), Mr. Satanism gives them the skewering they deserve, from the inexplicably admired (Conan the ... Read more

$3.99 USD

Dragons? Wizards? Hobbits? Supervillain-cum-movie critic Mr. Satanism has had enough of all this magic and wonder, so he's back to take the piss out of fantasy films once and for all. Be they Arabian adventures, Arthurian fantasies, or hopelessly-outdated Dungeons & Dragons clones (what is this, 1978?), Mr. Satanism gives them the skewering they deserve, from the inexplicably admired (Conan the
... Read more

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Recommended For You

“mr satanism”

A Chronology on Elm Street

Mr. Satanism Rises Again

Werewolves Don't Eat Brunch / Vampires Suck Bundle

Vampire Movies Still Suck

Mr. Satanism's Horror-nasium

Vampire Movies Suck

Shark Weak: The Worst Shark Movies Ever Made

Monkeys & Dinosaurs: Cinema as High Art, Vol. 1

Hex Crimes: The Worst Witch Movies Ever Made

Mr. Satanism Puts Down Your Favorite Dog (...Movies)

Lifetime Movies... for Men

Trash of the Titans

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“mr satanism”

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